Military Divorce Checklist: A Comprehensive Guide


By Lacey Briasco May 7, 2025

Divorce checklist on a clipboard with a U.S. Army patch and dog tag on a wood background.

Navigating a military divorce can be complex, given its distinctive combination of state and federal regulations, logistical challenges, and emotional difficulties. To support you during this process, this detailed checklist offers a step-by-step guide. Whether you are the service member or the spouse, these steps are designed to help you feel empowered and ready for the journey ahead.

Step 1: Gather Important Documentation

Having the right documents is crucial for a smooth divorce process. Start by collecting the following items:

  • Personal Records
  • Marriage certificate
  • Birth certificates of children (if applicable)
  • Social Security numbers for all family members
  • Military Records
  • Leave and Earnings Statement (LES)
  • Records of service, deployment, and duty stations
  • Details of military benefits (e.g., TRICARE, housing)
  • Financial Records
  • Bank and credit card statements
  • Investment and retirement account details (including Thrift Savings Plans)
  • Mortgage or lease agreements and property titles
  • Legal Documents Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
  • Power of Attorney or Living Will (if applicable)

Being organized with these documents will save time, reduce confusion, and make the process smoother for both you and your attorney.

Step 2: Choose the Right Jurisdiction

Military divorces present unique challenges when deciding where to file. Depending on your circumstances, you may be able to file in one of three jurisdictions:

  • The state where the service member claims residency
  • The state where the spouse resides
  • The state where the service member is stationed

Each option has its own implications regarding residency requirements, property division laws, and other legal factors. Work with an experienced attorney to determine the best jurisdiction for your case.

Step 3: Understand Key Federal Laws

Certain federal laws impact military divorces. Familiarizing yourself with these regulations is essential to protect your rights:

  • The Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA): Allows state courts to divide military retirement as marital property and offers protections for spouses meeting the 10/10, 20/20/15, or 20/20/20 rules.
  • Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA): Provides active-duty service members the option to delay court proceedings, ensuring they can focus on their duties without losing rights.

Understanding these laws with the help of a military divorce attorney ensures a fair settlement.

Step 4: Address Financial Considerations

Military divorces often involve complex financial issues, such as dividing assets and benefits. Consider the following:

  • Division of Military Pension: The USFSPA determines how pensions are divided, with direct payments handled by the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) if the marriage qualifies under the 10/10 rule.
  • Thrift Savings Plans (TSP): Discuss how these will be split in your settlement.
  • Spousal and Child Support : Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) and other income sources may affect support payments.
  • Tax Implications: Understand how asset division, alimony, or retirement distributions may impact your taxes.

Seeking advice from a financial advisor or CPA with military experience can help you make informed decisions.

Step 5: Plan Child Custody and Visitation

Frequent relocations and deployments can make child custody arrangements difficult. When creating your plan:

  • Consider the best interests of the child and how the military lifestyle impacts stability.
  • Include temporary custody provisions for deployments or training periods.
  • Make arrangements for virtual visitation during absences.
  • Address long-term holiday and school schedules, including travel logistics.

It’s essential to remain flexible and work toward an agreement that minimizes disruptions to your children’s routines.

Step 6: Review Housing and Healthcare

Military divorces can result in significant changes to housing and healthcare benefits.

  • Housing: If living on-base, the non-military spouse typically loses access within 30 days of the divorce. Plan for alternative living arrangements early.
  • Healthcare: Spouses losing TRICARE eligibility may need to explore transitional coverage under the Continued Health Care Benefit Program (CHCBP) or enroll in a private plan. Ensure ongoing coverage for children as well.

Understand how the end of military benefits could affect your finances and start planning accordingly.

Step 7: Update Your Estate Plans and Legal Documents

Once the divorce is finalized, review and revise any existing legal plans. Updates should include:

  • Will
  • Power of Attorney
  • Living Will or Medical Directives
  • Beneficiaries on life insurance and retirement accounts

Ensure your plans reflect your new circumstances and financial arrangements. If you have minor children, designate guardians and outline inheritance protocols to provide security for their future.

Contact our knowledgeable attorneys for assistance with military estate planning.

Step 8: Seek Specialized Legal Counsel

Military divorces require expertise in both federal and state-specific laws. Choose a qualified attorney who understands:

  • The complexities of military pensions, benefits, and the USFSPA.
  • How federal laws like the SCRA interact with state custody and property division rules.
  • Military schedules, relocations, and deployment challenges.

Working with the right lawyer ensures that your rights are fully protected and simplifies the divorce proceedings.

Step 9: Manage Emotional and Logistical Challenges

Divorce is emotionally draining under any circumstances, and military life adds unique stressors. To ease the burden:

  • Lean on resources like Military OneSource for counseling support and advice.
  • Speak with trained mediators if communication breaks down with your spouse.
  • Focus on self-care and seek support from trusted friends and family.

Finally, keep track of deadlines, paperwork, and agreements throughout the process. Maintain a positive, proactive mindset, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.

Get Prepared

Military divorce brings complex challenges, but with the right preparation and professional support, you can effectively navigate the process. Follow this checklist, stay informed, and work closely with experienced legal and family law experts to safeguard your interests and create a secure foundation for the future.

About the Author:

Lacey M. Briasco is Managing Partner of Fennell, Briasco & Associates, focusing on military divorce, family law and probate law. She proudly serves clients in Bartow, Cobb, Cherokee, Forsyth, Fulton, Pickens, and Paulding Counties. Lacey was admitted to the Georgia Bar in 2014.

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